busy-busyhan ako ngayon kaya sa'ka na ang update oki :D

i'm here in front of the computer, contemplating whether i'm going to attend talentine later, while eating outmeal because of my aching teeth because of a heavier wire attached to my lower teeth (i can't chew anything even pansit). i stayed away from home all day yesterday, after my appointment with my cousin (she's my dentist) i walked alone around araneta center. i went to alimall, SM, shopwise and gateway. bought some stuff that made me spend half of my cash at hand... grrr with the UP Fair coming up that is a big mistake. the lack of moolah is not the only reason why i can't attend the talentine, it is more on i haven't done anything academic this weekend. with lots of exam next week and assignments i should be moving right now. but no i'm procastinating here...

oh well, tomorrow is valentine's day. HAPPY VALENTINE'S PEOPLE!

and because of that every person is thinking of love, especially romantic love. today i read the newspaper and almost every writer writes about love, unconditional love, difference between romance and love, heartbreaks and joy, sacrifices and rewards, types of lovers, name it they almost have them all, all about love. even at the malls there are special stalls for valentine's stuffs [chocolate, fake flowers (who would like that for valentine's? it's so unromantic), stuff toys, red attires, etc.] and some bakeshops and pizza houses have their cakes and pizza heart-shaped. everybody just loves the feeling of loving, or believing in a universal word called love.

and because of that i'm going to leave some message here for some persons, the persons i love and cherish. i hope some of them could read it...

Mi,

thanks for being the supportive mom that you are. i know you want me to succeed in life because you know that i will crumble inside when failure strucks me. i use to get mad at you before because i thought you are taking me for granted but now i realize that you did that because you want me to stand on my own feet and be independent. i know i'm not that independent yet but i'll try.

take care of yourself and don't overdo things. you know you have a health problem, don't stretch yourself to your upper limit. if only i can do all the household chores for you, i will. but we all know that you'll just be disappointed at my work and you will re-do everything. teach me how to cook, please, i beg you. for me you're the best cook (and Di also). for you know that i can only cook fried stuffs [hehe]. i'm happy that i can bring joy to you by accompanying you when you go to your past time. i hope i can make you happier.

i love you, even though i don't tell you that i hope you feel it through my actions. i love you.

Di,

i'm proud that you are my dad. you are a hard working man. i know it is hard to be dad for me and my siblings (we are all brats) but you handled us well. you are a very understanding dad, you forgave us all for our short-comings and support us when we are rising from our fall. through the hardships that this family went through, you are the one who remained strong for all of us.

you might notice some changes from me but it is all because i want to be responsible like you. i know you might not want things like that but i want to be like that. i don't want to depend everything to you and Mi. thanks for understanding.

avoid sweets dad, that's why i must avoid having sweets as pasalubong from now on also. love you!

Cha-cha,

you're one hell of a brat and because of that i love you. before you came to this world i didn't want to accept you because it is so untimely. but when you finally came i know that is the proper time. you gave joy to the whole family even though sometimes you gave us headaches. minimize you're bratinella attitude ok, so dada and mamu would be happier. love you, a-ge.

To Ate and Boy,

i know i'm the worst sibling in the whole world but i'm trying to change... i love you guys.

To Rose,

i know we don't see each other that much bestfriend but i'm glad that we were able to pull our friendship through. i miss you terribly and i'm oh so thankful to the telecommunication companies because at least we still have our communication. i hope we can go out again sometime and have a heart-warming talk just like the old days. toast to our almost 8 years of friendship. love you.

To my college barkada,

i'm happy that the rainy day incident between jaypee, pamela and karen happened for it started our beautiful friendship. i'm happy that you are my friends because you are all funny in your own ways. thanks for being there for me, for understanding the psycho inside me. thanks for listening to my sentiments over numerous guys (haha). i'll try to be there for you guys most of the time also, in one way or another. thanks for making college life more fun. i hope we can go out again, all of us:maits, anne, erma, iche, pame, waquer, karen, and jaypee, for i can't remember the last time that we are complete. i miss karen so much for i don't see her that often anymore. love you all : )

To the guys,

eszard, louie, bars, crismar and allan. thanks for you guys filled a void in my life. being a girl who is used to having a guy bestfriend, it was hard at first in college when me and my HS guy friends don't see each other that much anymore but because of you guys the empty space was filled. eszard, thanks for being a dance buudy. louie, allan, crismar thanks for making me laugh because of your crazy antics but crismar please minimize your ka-OTihan (hehe). bars thanks for the fatherly advice (hehe joke, ama). thanks guys, love you.

To my co-indakers,

guys thanks for sharing with me a wonderful experience. thanks for sharing with me one of the things i'm very proud of. we are different individuals binded by our passion for dancing. you taught me what team work is. you are not just my dance buddies but in the course of our indakan practices we became friends. i'm very thankful for that. love you guys!

To my HS friends,

i know we might have new set of friends now but we still became part of each others lives. you guys contributed to who i am right now. there was also a time when we shared each others secrets, happiness and pains. thanks for all of that. friends forever, love you guys.

and to everybody Happy Valentine's Day again!

To my peyups friends,

you certainly gave a new color to my life guys. sorry for the times when i can't go out with you. i'll make up later, okie.

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most of the time i hide my feelings... darn.

sentihan atbp.

hehe muntik na akong mapa-iyak nung app kanina nung pinakanta sya ni maits kanina bago maglog-out. pero nakalimutan ko kung ano yung kanta, sa nandun kanina pakiasabi naman sa'kin o?

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may curse ata. sana ikaw di ka tablan ng curse (",)

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hahanapin ko pic ng all-time crush ko. papakita ko sa friends ko pero may sakit sya sa picture e...

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walang kwenta na naman ito.

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dagdag VAT, no!

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antaas pala ng tinaas ng toll fee sa NLEX. tsk,tsk...

Chinese Astrology

February 2, 1984 - February 18, 1985 (Wood Rat)

"Single Rats will meet somebody during the second half of the year who will later become an important person in your life."

-- from The Philippine Starweek (February 6, 2005)

We will see if it will happen. i don't really believe in astrology and horoscope, time to test it.

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Singleness

"What if Prince Charming had never showed up? Would Snow White have slept in that glass coffin forever? Or would she have eventually woken up, spit out the apple, gotten a job, a health-care package, and a baby from her local neighborhood sperm bank? I couldn't help but wonder: Inside every confident, driven single woman, is there a delicate, fragile princess just waiting to be saved?" - Carrie Bradshaw (Sex in the City)

I told my friend this (or some part of it) and told her that i don't want that to happen to me, be a princess that was never saved. she told me i'm so paranoid about me being single for life and i must admit that i am and i don't hide it. i'm not a girl who has guys lining up just to know me. i never knew anyone who really had a crush on me just the 2 guys back at 4th & 3rd grade. i'm just not the likeable type (i think i've said that for the nth time already) and i don't easily like that guy, what more to love someone...

when i'm in grade school i envisioned myself being alone, i'll have a baby (either by sperm donor or someone i might fall in love with), successful and fulfilled in my chosen field. i don't care if i end up having no husband, i thought, back then, that i would be very happy with that set-up. but now, after many years after that things changed and my thoughts also did. after seeing friends being committed, after feeling that much for another person, after some heartbreaks and joy, i felt that i really want to grow up with someone also.

i'm not rushing things, not as if i really need a boyfriend right now, no, not like that. i believe that there would be a right time for that. basically, i'm happy with my life right now except for some times that you wish someone is there for you (you know what i mean). i'm enjoying life and i'm more carefree now than before (i used to be very problematic), but i also want to be sure that i would not end up alone when i grow old but unfortunately there is no way of knowing. only the future knows.

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Guys with glasses

i saw one of my former crush at the mall earlier, he is lining up to pay at the cashier at kamiseta and is carrying a shapes paperbag. not that he is wanting some girls' stuff but he is lining up for his mom (i assume that the woman he is with is his mom). well that made me admire him just a bit again haha. if he could have been bald (he look better with bald hair) again and wear his glasses again (just like when we were classmates) that could have been a plus . i don't have any news from him and we lost communication when i was robbed last summer because his number is stored in my stolen cellphone. i'll ask my friend if he knows anything about him...

well, anyway lately i've been liking guys with glasses. i don't know why, maybe because it makes them look witty or maybe this is just because of my carlo (of LIP) addiction. but not all guys with glasses... just some haha.